The Brain

From happy to sad.

From good to bad.

Thoughts mixed up.

What makes you dark.

Far away come back to me.

One minute so clever.

You turn to the devil.

I know you don’t mean it.

Can I clean it.

Thoughts in times gone by.

Will they fade and die.

No more sadness as I cry.

Only goodness

Poison me no more.

Be clean like once before.

Tell of your life

Trouble and love.

They never meant to harm.

That Simple man.

Just wanting to be loved.

Your getting better everyday.

Positive writing is good.

Expression from my heart.

Please Brain be good.

I know you now.

Wiser and boulder.

Yes we get older.

Sight.

Open and close slowly, rapidly moving scanning sidwards upwards to bottom, gathering information feeding the sensor my sensor that needs feeding to keep It functioning. Some big some small some that see in the dark don’t see daylight at all. In the sky above to the sea bed below, every colour of the rainbow 🌈 they glow in the dark, nocturnal only they know.

There needed to hunt gather food for their young, to find land far away travel in groups they land. Move across country herds to be seen picking their path to pastures green. Closing in winter open in spring curled up in a ball warm no opening.

They come to the ocean surface checking its safe, coming up for air in a hole in the ice, checking for a shadow waiting for me. Back down to the depths safety for me. There all in two’s side by side some focusing on close up things others for miles around. Many will be faulty helped by another pair surrounded and covered in fur, one will work and be fine the other lazy never to be good helped by glass to make it good.

The monster will only have one in the centre, one will say Exterminate. Another will come up on a periscope no need to surface. Seen from space or seen from Jodrell Bank powerful and invented by man.

Mine are a gift given from the womb formed in nine months they will open soon see the sun and the moon, the clouds fluffy and white the birds take flight, my first 🦉 at night. Mine see 🌳 of green, red roses 🌹 to they all bloom for me and you.

Some will open sadly for a short while never see a smile, chosen why only God knows. Some will see War and pain never to see again, close seeing fellow man fall a friend and brother down beside me there will be another bullets fire from from others looking through sights small figures move towards getting bigger, then hit the ground neverto be found. The unknown Soldier lies dying on the ground

Others will hold a loved one as they take their last breath saying I Love You they close slowly seeing your face and light fades, its your time with him, darkness again but then light the gates await a man in white arms out wide to hold you tight.

I have seen my beloved little Black and White trusted friend lie back in my arms as we say goodbye, your safe and at peace you hade a great life but its time. You have seen many things in your short but happy life, comfort and love is all you have known when I find a Bone when I got back home all alone. There closed now at night but you visit me a dream so bright your on the beach again as I chase you laughing you bring me delight again, soon to wake a tear falls again.

I turn to see you glide all dressed in white a glow a halo the music plays people watch and I wait our moment has come together as one Love so true only me and you know. Another tear falls a happy tear filled with emotion we look at each other like Sister and Brother. I see you on your swing like an Angel in slow motion glowing like an ember you love to watch in the fire. Your ember will glow long and loved never to die, my love will keep you alive.

Others join us every year starting their lives small wrapped up to keep them warm I hold them for the first time, gaze into there small innocent ones they don’t know whats to come, love and happiness safety a place of safety until they get older away they must go as they get boulder. What waits for them they ask their mother, What Ever Will be, will be.

Open as the light awakes me there is a another pair next to me the ones that were on the swing 7 years ago peaceful and loved. Then I look at the happiness in another pair wanting my attention, learning and company. A bond with an animal, bird, a child she says Hello Dad, are you OK, says my children’s names, grandchildren names, sings songs and rhymes all in in tune with a voice like me or you.

63 years they work just fine not to sleep through wine when its not time, not wet through tears again as the slow ballad plays reminds me of a place in time, brought on my another Bottle of Wine, so many wasted hours when i could have been showing my children more time, finding comfort in my tipple

Hiding thoughts it was my escape from my childhood time, thinking what made my Dad hit me time after time sent to bed again and again, starving from dinnertime. Did they love me I don’t know Questions I will never get answered haunting me day after day

I don’t see the bottle anymore my mind clear healthy and happy, no more crying just singing, Smile though your heart is aching even though its breaking.

By now you must know I talk of my Eyes my amazing Eyes seen from 57 born on a couch they opened from the first time. Memories of 63 years filmed every second round the world they filmed in colour along the way they guided me here to my bed as I write, there still good but one needs glass to help the other.

My Eye, My Aperture, My life

Slowly my eyelids open. It is bright but hazy.

I can hear muffled voices. Touching me, hands move carefully around my small 6lb fragile body. I feel cold air on my red blotchy head for the first time. Taking my first breath of air then cry loud as a welcome to the strange objects holding me.

My pupils rotate in all directions trying to collect information. Passing backwards and forwards to the small but very clever cells that will hold the memories I see, store the colours, objects, the good the bad, people; my life will all pass through my eyes.

I see my Mum and Dad, sister and brother. They’re bigger than me and my world is small.

I smell food for the first time, the voices are still making no sense. Things look clearer, making out a big square with light passing through and strange shapes behind it.

I see a strange object with four things moving along below me but covered in fluffy stuff, it has eyes like me but makes a new sound.

Within days, my eyes have gathered so much detail it makes me sleepy.

I wake up. I feel wet. Muffled sounds greet me and lift me, holding my little head in the palm of their hand.

She takes me to another square area. There are silver objects with liquid coming out of them, making the small room foggy. I feel warm liquid on my body for the first time, and it feels nice to be warm.

Another of my five senses kicks in; I smell something that years down the line will take me back to when I was bathed and covered in a white powder.

Carried down a very large gap into the room I know as my birthplace, more strange figures stand there, all with eyes like me, staring at me, making sounds like mum and dad, faces making movements my eye will record as laughter.

I get passed around and they all look at me really close making strange noises at me. My smell senses start as the figures all smell different – some sweet, some that will be known as smokers, the ones I will see sitting next to me with a small white object between their lips, making clouds of smoke. Not knowing the smoke will harm my new, clean, healthy lungs.

I lay back in my mother’s arms. They shake a white object with liquid inside and she puts some on her arm first, then I get my first taste of milk.

I am not liking the taste but it stays there wedged between my lips. I suck for the first time and it tastes better.

Before long my eyes are taking in so much information it makes me tired.

I can see my mum dad brothers and sisters, they all play with me and I see my first dog – it licks me all over my face, mum shouts at it.

Someone keeps holding a small object and saying smile, then a bright light fills the room and I hear “That’s A Nice One”. This will be my first look at what I will hold and use most of my life, known as a camera.

Everything gets clearer as I grow, recording everything new I see and gets stored as memory for later life. I will be one of the lucky ones who has a unique memory remembering, faces, places, music, people, facts, birds, the list is endless and all seen through my small eyes.

As I grow, I hear my Dad say Kennedy has been shot, then look at a small box with humans moving inside it but it is all black and white – not like my family in colour.

I see a man hitting a round object with his foot – he is not the same colour as mum and dad. He has yellow and blue on – my first real sense of colour. My dad shouts Pele is the worlds best.

My dad walks in holding something blue. It is a small bird, and I see the wonder of birds for the first time. He lets me hold it and I fall in love with it. “You can keep it son”, and my touch sense starts as I hold the baby bird carefully so as not to hurt it.

The eyes open daily as I see new things around me.

My first horse pulling a large wooden cart cluttered with old clothes. The man shouts out loud and is dirty looking. People go out and give him clothes, and he reaches inside his pocket and pulls out a hand full of balloons. I see my sister crying for the first time because the man scares her so much and she hides in mum’s wardrobe until she can’t hear him shouting “RAG AND BONE”.

I hear a loud noise approaching, and see my first plane as it flies over our house – it is huge and called a Jumbo jet.

I see my dad leave for work everyday for my first nine years. Then I see him walk out the door shouting at my mum; I will only see him once every Friday for two hours after that.

I see and taste my first chocolate bar, my treat once a week.

I see a luxury object called a car that makes huge amounts of smoke from the back, that people climbed into when they go out for a treat.

Looking out of my bedroom window I see the stars and the moon and a shooting star.

My eye captured so many images and recorded them in my young brain; some I will remember and some I forget until something triggers the memory.

My Granddad comes to see me with his camera, that I now know takes something called a photograph.

I see mum crying most nights saying we have no money left for food so we just eat white bread with gravy. I watch Dad arrive on Friday and give her money for shopping; she wants more but he just leaves.

What my eye recorded, good or bad, would play a big part in my life and stays with me as I write this blog.

Throughout my life, my eye will see millions of things from the UK and around the world, different people of different colour and race.

It sees a huge variety of food with colours and tastes that most of us won’t experience in a lifetime. Sitting on a small island I see and taste my first lobster and shark, I taste a turtle meat.

I wake up in a hammock and look over the Caribbean sea and see my first Dolphin, then my first real sunrise.

My mouth opens wide at the site of the Alps.

The Berlin Wall. Surrounded by the gravestones of desperate people, shot as they made their escape; laid to rest after trying to make their freedom.

I see car showrooms frozen in time and cafes still with cups on the table, and wine glasses on tables full of dust and sand left by people just having a normal day when Turkish soldiers invaded the city in Cyprus.

My eyes grow sad as I see young Argentinian soldiers lying dead with letters to mum, dad, brother, friends, explaining how the war was going and when they would be home, rifles and helmets marking the spot where they fell.

I see my first penguin in the wild and take lovely images on my camera.

Looking down from the helicopter I see the Dam that 617 Squadron Royal Airforce bombed back in 1943.

My eyes are cold as I look up and see the the summit of Volcano Popocatépetl – 17,802 feet.

The sweat runs into my eyes as I climb the steps of a Mayan pyramid, stopping to take a picture.

The years pass and I see my children, my pets and my friends.

I see the climate change and animals in decline through man being greedy.

I see the motorcar and motor bike change and electric items that make life easier.

My eyes see everything, but the lens gets older and the vision seems to change. One eye is all I need to keep the memories going and to see my beautiful family grow.

My brain holds all these wonderful things that I have witnessed like a never ending hard drive spinning daily as the eyes capture more moments in time, storing them only to be awakened by my eye matching it to something similar.

My aperture started out the day I was born. It was wide open, collecting lots of light and as I grow and get older it will deteriorate until that time comes when the eyelid will close for the last time and will stay closed.

Thank you God for giving me my sight that has captured all the wonders I have come across and will allow me to witness many more. My camera has captured amazing images that all tell stories for my children and grandchildren to look at in years to come.

My Eye, my Aperture, my Life.