Category Archives: my body

5am My Feet

The long and winding road leads me, I wish I could measure the distance my legs have taken me since the day I took my first steps. Feet that have had so many different shoes on, socks of all sizes. They never knew where the road would take us, but they took it in their stride.

The most bones in the human body flat only 9 inches long ,no fat surrounding them for warmth just fabric to keep the warm. They do what my brain tells them, I once told them to get me round 3 Marathons climb hills of Snowden ride a Triathlon.

Carry me with 50lb on my back for 30 mile taking all the pressure of the Brecon Beacons hills grass mud water and undulating ground. Walk till I could go no further as my body salts diminished, but they never gave up.

Ran cross country in many countries in snow and ice from the age of 15 to 55 when I decided to look after them a bit more. Took the whole force from a 800 foot jump from a plane as the landed safe once more.

There 64 years old now, still going strong not knowing what my brain will tell them what to do. Dance with my wife in the kitchen, chase my children laughing as they can’t keep up anymore. Walking slowly the are still silent as I stalk the Deer, stopping in an instant.

The feet that stood proud for 22 years on a Day that approaches soon Remembering the Fallen. Helped me to run and catch my children as they began to fall, or climb the tree their stuck in.

The Cold affects them now and I just take them for granted, for the Medals I won standing tall in 83,84,85 Black Box with 1 on First position in the 400 metres Race, first Veteran in a Triathlon, Ribbons of all colours by me and my Feet, Certificates in German this man run 13 miles in 1 hour 15 minutes.

Ran 10 mile in Cyprus in 58 mins, at the age of 38, feet just doing what there told. Day by day they plod on where to next they don’t know. They ran 3 flights of stairs with 50 lb of flour on my shoulder in 1973 to 78 daily.

They soaked many times in Bath salts easing their pain as another achievement was gained, they have no say in it.

The punishment over a very long time came to a head April 18 2020 when I put a small amount of pressure on my right one, Snap it gave in on me after all that time. It took 6 months to just to take my first steps again like a baby begins to walk again, they have to learn all over again.

Feet that took me to the top of the volcano in Mexico 17,000 feet of Snow and Ice with just rope and clothing. Feet that would carry me everyday over 12 weeks of the hardest physical exercise any one can imagine, their everyday when i decide to do another challenge.

They propel me across the second biggest barrier reef in the world in flippers as the waves force me into lethal coral. They never let me down as i climb many 12 feet walls and climb ropes on assault courses in every camp that the military has.

They walk me down the Isle as i sing to You Are The Love Of My Life on the 27 September 2013 waiting they stop me shaking as my Angel appears gliding so I make a gesture to slow down then the Angel comes down to earth again as our feet meet for the rest of our lives.

Another pair of feet that will follow mine as i take her on walks all over the country, walk with mine on beaches as the sun goes down in Goa. Turkey Dominican Republic. Cuddle together next to mine as we go to sleep every night.

I have asked so much of my Plates Of Meat not thinking they maybe tired or just need to rest after 35 miles over rocks and hills the Romans once walked, in 5 hours only to be asked to go back to where we started. They would end up have a surgical blade slice through both Big Toes as blood built up so much, my feet cried out in so much pain release the blood. Just to carry on and finish the 70 mile race in 12 hours over 2 days.

They would be asked to take me home many times in many places coming out of hundreds of Pubs and houses, gardens and get me home up the stairs to bed, not knowing how i got home.

Carry my children on my shoulders for miles, their little feet covered in mud swinging so close there journey has started and they will also walk the road to where the don’t know.

I think of all the people born without them or one, cant move them like me. Feet taken in life after so long or taken in Battle, illness taking them. Car or Bike amputation, Bombs everyday accidents. Power tools breaks, fractures.

Feet that can change gear on a motorcycle at 100 mph, or stop you as your pushbike goes out of control stopping you before an accident.

Feet changing gear as you push the clutch in the brake on, or the pedal to make you go faster. The 9 inch long part of the body that has made so much enjoyment by taking me there. Help me get the Bus when i was late. Caught the lad that hurt my sister, caught the man stealing from our house.

They would stand with me on Sunday at 1100 hours for 22 years in Boots so shiny the Poppy would be seen as a Soldier in the Toe Cap. They would stand still in the position of Attention as The Last Post would play.

Feet that we take for granted they are my life and without them i could not have done all the wonderful things i have achieved in life. They would play football and were taught to control the ball with the Left and Right not many footballers can do/ They could score with both feet, dribble and tackle.

The Feet that would promise our little Jake and Monty my 2 dogs 🐕 my best friends that I would put their Ashes up on Ingleborough where they can see our Van and we can look up everyday and say hello as they look down from Rainbow Bridge.

I finally look down and say Thanks my trusted feet i will look after you now as we travel Our Long And Winding Road

My Hands.

Born so small my first touch my first first feeling of warmth, wet sensation heat cold, pain. Feeling my silk blue baby covers, the wood on my cot. my face features, to grip my first toy made of wood.

Touching feeling remembering what not to touch, the old carpet the cat dog. It’s cold nose the tail as it bit my hand feeling it’s teeth. Touching the wet warm red liquid oozing from my skin.

The feeling of my food as it squashed between my fingers, my tongue licks feeling warm. Plastic for the first time the kitchen table with scratches some deep some long, like Brail my small brain recording it’s sensation.

The door handle as I raise for the first time in my legs to open the door, grain I feel in the solid wood door. The old worn carpet as my hands take me up the stairs to my bare bedroom. Touch of the pot water bottle.

My bike handles, the gravel as I fall off my hands hitting first in printed with grey gravel, the first sting if pain as my mum rubs TCP into the cuts neat.

My first ice cream the feeling as it mealts and runs down my palm. The first tree bark grain so old I feel the age and don’t know it will play a big part in my life as I get older.

The old Suitcase as I walk to the railway station the first bench cold to the touch. The army sheets made of thick wool metal spring’s the Rifle Handle, my polish as it circles time after time for 22 years getting a shine to be proud of.

Grass, bullets, helicopter, plane, tank, boat, land rover handles are adding to my touch memory. First palm tree bark, first falcon I touch feathers so soft, baby bird I hold

My Daughter as she sits in the palm of my hand, the hand I walk away with to our wedding music. The Rope as I absail 200 feet up from the Helicopter.

The feelings through my hands have given me so much pleasures, they were soft and small white no marks.

There now bigger with lines all telling a story of my touch history, the are a different colour, a ring sits on my finger.

There touch the buttons I know so well as they know when to get the image, they cut feel for the light switch in the dark, they can assemble a Gun in the Dark. Feelings passed through them over 64 years still operating from the moment I rub my eyes when I wake up to pulling the covers over me as I go to sleep

There learning to Weave coloured 4 mm cord into Beautiful items, they touch the metal if the Harmonica as they hold it just right to play a song.    

There marked now from Knife cuts some deep, they hold wood the Bark I touched all those years ago sits in my palm, different textures, different grain, colours rough and smooth.

They hold the wood for me as I make another Owl, Robin,Wren, Nuthatch, Woodpecker, a Hedgehog or Christmas gift.

The handle of the chisel as it cuts another feather detail my sandpaper smoothing out the wood carver’s cuts. Holding it as it’s finished feeling the love inside a thing of beauty all made by my Hands.

Thank you Hands for giving me so much pleasure not just to me but to other people, your typing this to tell the world of your adventures.

My Hands

I like to Give

Why does giving something to someone come naturally but receiving be uncomfortable makes me feel anxious. Why do I feel like this, I would rather have nothing given to me but I want to give gifts and surprises to my family and friends. Don’t want anything in return, its not the same feeling when I give something.

Xmas Birthdays should make me feel happy but their Stressful and I get worse with age. A Hug and a Kiss feels more natural gives me more pleasure than something material.

Am I being ungrateful I don’t want to upset anyone but they don’t understand my mind why I think like this another Childhood Scar ingrained in me as a boy another Burden to carry in my Bag of Mental Feelings.

I just need one thing.

To Be Loved.

The Brain

From happy to sad.

From good to bad.

Thoughts mixed up.

What makes you dark.

Far away come back to me.

One minute so clever.

You turn to the devil.

I know you don’t mean it.

Can I clean it.

Thoughts in times gone by.

Will they fade and die.

No more sadness as I cry.

Only goodness

Poison me no more.

Be clean like once before.

Tell of your life

Trouble and love.

They never meant to harm.

That Simple man.

Just wanting to be loved.

Your getting better everyday.

Positive writing is good.

Expression from my heart.

Please Brain be good.

I know you now.

Wiser and boulder.

Yes we get older.

Legs of Time

I walk slowly now the years have flown by like geese migrating in the first morning frost. Blue skys above me legs walk carefully again taking me on anther journey, to another wonderful wildlife experience. To a stranger walking a dog, over fields and streams they never stop pleasing me.

The streets of London in 91 when I went through the Marathon half way point in a time of 1 hour and 15 mins. Poor legs joined by my trusty knees gave way 3 mile later only to be cared for by the medic, stop here don’t go any further.

The legs got me up and gave me another 10 mile yes there was pain but we finished another challenge my legs and me.

Legs that were called Knots on Cotton, I Have Seen Better Legs Hanging Out Of A Nest I would be told. The legs stung by a Wasp and by nettle’s.

The legs that ran me to the Bakery in 1973 every morning, my legs would run with Ron Hill the British Marathon Runner who ran in the Olympics.

The legs that got me awarded the Best Physical Training recruit award.

They ran walked crawled over rocks in Cyprus, swam me through the Great Barrier Reef in the Caribbean.

Took me 17,000 feet up the highest Volcano in Mexico in 1979. They never let me down the long skinny legs that would Match proud onto the Parade Square in front of Royalty.

Legs in a Smart uniform with brasses polished as the Queen Mother would stop and ask me how I was. Stand next to Her Royal Highness Prince Anne.

My legs my journey through 63 brilliant years, taking me around the globe 37,000 feet they would want to stretch out. Legs that would see no breaks as I jumped at 140 miles an hour from a plane landing at 20 feet a second. The legs taking the full force.

How did my Skinny legs do all this and still propel me when I ask them to.

The legs that would walk 100 kilometres 4 weeks after a hip operation. The legs that would take me to the top of Ingleborough with my Daughter to place my 2 Dogs that I loved to rest in their little Silver Tin with their names engraved on.

Legs that did the slow march as I held the Coffin steady on the way to the church.

Legs that would win me Gold in the 400 metres race, in the 400 metre Hurdles and over the 3,000 metre steeplechase.

Legs taking me high up into the Troodos Mountains in Cyprus, a 70 mile run in 40 degrees done at the age of 38, both big toes sliced with a Scalpel to release blood pressure still to carry one and finish as best Veteran.

Legs that would Swim, bike and run and win the Triathlon up against younger lads.

Legs that would run to the top of Snowdon in 5 hours ,12 mins.

Legs that would walk me on my walk to the pub when I met my Ruth, the ones that would dance with Ruth to our first dance on our wedding day

Legs that would hang from a Gazelle Helicopter 200 feet up as I Abseiled down the rope, above the fields and mountains of Bevaria.

Legs that would teach my some how to play football, and show my daughter how to do Athletics.

Legs that would support me as I put up Owl Boxes, tree lights, house lights, up trees to get my ball back.

The miles every day with Monty my Labrador the miles my legs and his Di together the miles we ran when he was in his prime. The longs walk with Jake and Ruth on the Sea front.

Legs that were pulled out first at Birth. Legs that would take a beating, cuts bruises and scars.

Legs patrolling the Streets of Northern Ireland, The Falklands the jungles of Gautamala, the hills of Scotland drop in by parachute no transport just your legs to carry you and your 50lb Bergan and Rifle.

The legs that walked with my Son and Daughter in the pram and trolly, stood rocking them to sleep.

Legs that stood in the naughty corner at school.

The ones that were standing waiting for his first date, he got Stood up.

Legs that stood up at the Bakery making bread cakes by hand for 6 year

The legs than ran in small silk shorts for 20 years in freezing cold weather, that skeied? All over Austria and Bevaria on Cross Country 🎿.

O my legs have done so much more I could write for another day. We take everything for Granted, I am a lucky Man to have a healthy body and my trusted legs to take me on more journeys in my life.

Yes one day I will look down at them in bed and say that’s your lot thank you for the Thousands of miles you have given me. Time to rest my Old Legs.