Dad Brian,Julie and Christine are not part of my life there blood flows from our same mother. Arguments and stupidity have led to Silence no communication. We once played in the same house happy not knowing what the world had in store for us
One by one they left, I left we all started a new life, wife children and grandchildren. Now we all suffer from our stubeness. No contact to love, the Family bond no more. Sitting together as one is gone and won’t return.
I am at peace with myself as I know I have tried to bring us all together, said Sorry so many times can we just put the past behind us. Be adults and be a Man and forgive and forget.
Me dream was all my family were at home when arrived back from a day out, they sat all over my house in every room children I had not seen before husband and wife my Dad and his wife.
They looked at me with disgust and anger hatred they said bad things to me why i don’t know. I don’t think of them anymore for months but then a horrible dream happens.
I am the Man in all this blamed maybe for things but if they said shall we meet next week I would be the first to say Yes.
Or do I wait for the Call or someone to say your Sister or Brother is dead are you going to the Funeral. Anger says No but my Heart will say Yes.
I know I will cry when I stand alone above and on the soil that lies between me and my Sister or Brother and say Why did we have to meet this way finally to say words you can’t hear anymore, why did we act so silly and childish.
Brian Christine Julie I Still Love You. And always will.
I have often been asked by people “What does Love mean?”.
Describe the word love. What does it mean?
There have been situations in my lifetime where I ask myself did I really love her? Did I show her enough love? Did I tell her I loved her?
Tell me you love me one more time. If you love me, show me how much.
Love you for ever and ever. Love you to the moon and back. My love overflows.
If only I could love you one more time. Loving you has been so easy.
Show her you love her. Let him know we will always love him. Give my love to him.
Will I ever love again? Can love blossom again?
My love is my life, love is in my heart and soul, is love a gift, can you feel the love tonight? Your love is like an arrow through my heart. Love is all around us. Love is in the flowers I leave on the doorstep, the cup of tea I make you, helping you when you are down.
Love is caring for you, your pet, a little injured animal.
Goodnight my love, bye my love, take care my love, love you till the cows come home.
Thinking of the love we had, the love that gave us so much happiness. Loving nature, birds, animals, sun, clouds, the waves gently caressing the pebbles. The love in children’s faces as they see their mum waiting at the train station as they arrive back from absence.
Love is seeing your parents in love walking, holding hands, a glow of love embraces them.
The love In loving images of the birthday, wedding, christening, birth of a little child shouting love you world as it takes its first breath of air.
The love broken by separation, asking the same questions over and over again, did they love each other, did she love someone else, has he fallen out of love.
Love in the eyes of children, smiling, happy.
They still whisper I love you as their life on earth finally comes to an end. Love you my darling, I will follow you soon.
You come to me in my dreams. We embrace, and the feeling I knew all those years ago can be felt again as love overflows one more time.
I love chocolate, cakes, my football team, my new shirt, my shiny new car.
Loving, love comes from my heart and is natural, no effort. It pours from my soul like a vintage wine, pumped out of my ever beating heart.
It will happen again. You can love again. Love will find you without thinking. You will show it in your eyes, your smile, in your voice as you say “I Love You”.
You won’t ask the question anymore. It has happened. You won’t be able to explain it to anyone. You’re full of it, you’re all loved up. Your love will be in the air in every breath you take.
As a boy I would kneel by my bed and say “Please God let them love again so that I can be loved.”
As I get older and and express my feelings and memories of my life, I start to realise that if my mum and dad did not have love, how could they have shown me love? They couldn’t show me love with a simple cuddle, a kiss goodnight, or a “have a good day at school”. There was always one word missing at the end.
I am sure if that if I was truly loved I would not try to explain it. Your life is formed up to the age of six.
I feel sympathy now for my parents who probably didn’t know how to show love to me. Was their life so hard? What were they going through? Yes I judge them, but do I really know everything?
One thing is for certain – the house was not a loving one.
Maybe that’s why I say to my Daniel “I love you”, to my Kerry, I say it to Faye and Laura, to my Grandchildren.
My time kneeling by my bed as a boy, and a man not afraid to say “Lord show me what love is. Is there such a thing called love? Will I know when it arrives?”.
I know my times praying for love to be grown again inside me were not in vain.
After kissing Ruth goodnight and saying the words “I love you”, I put my head on my pillow and say “Thank you Lord for giving me a beautiful family, showing me how to love again, and thank you for the few friends I have that I love”.